TMI Thursday (complete with pictures)

Country started it.

I just want to make that clear.

It’s not my fault that her recent singledom has convinced men to buy her coffee, drinks, and dinner. I might be taken, but Apache is out of the country and unable to spoil me. So sue me that I am only too happy to follow Country’s lead. We convinced her electrician stalker to buy us lunch, and Dawson only too happily bankrolled both dinner and drinks last week at Golden Greek & the Golden Eagle.

Saturday, Country & I decided we should convince Dawson to again buy us dinner. We dressed up and met him at Ruby Tuesdays not that far from his house. He drives a big Chevy Silverado—we may as well save him some gas $.

We ate dinner and drank. I was two Sangrias in by the time we decided we should find another bar. Brookside’s, near Foxwoods Casino, with its mechanical bull was calling our name. YeeHaw!

Country laid it on thick, flashing her new knee high boots, and rubbing them up Dawson’s leg. Resistance was futile.


We left the restaurant and started to walk out to the car. Country was flirtatiously trying to get Dawson to let her drive his truck. Suddenly, a crazy pain shot through my leg and I just dropped.

I had twisted my ankle the week before—the hospital had xrayed it, saw nothing broken, and just sent me home.

Dawson carried me to my car, with Country driving his truck and drove me to the hospital. I have never been in so much pain all my life. I blacked out a couple of times, and spent the rest of the time screaming at Dawson to “shut the fuck up” because he was giving my mom (on the phone) a play-by-play of what he thought was wrong with my ankle.

Triage sent me to Xray, and my mom wheeled me to xray. The woman, Suzanne, took one look at me and told me to go back to Triage:

“Why? Triage said they sent down an x-ray order?”

“You need a pregnancy test.” I laughed, absolutely dumbfounded.

“There’s not a cold chance in hell I’m pregnant. My boyfriend is…”

“How old are you?”

“24, but there really is no…”

“ I don’t care. You still need a pregnancy test. Go.”

Mom wheeled me back, and by that point I was absolutely livid. Not only was there no way in hell I’m pregnant – trust me I WISH I had reason to doubt because then it meant I actually would have gotten some in the last two months—but I had a possible broken ankle. How the HELL was I going to hover long enough to pee on a stick?

To top it all off, I couldn’t get back in the ER because the doors were locked. Country and Dawson were doubled over in laughter, and finally the door unlocked. Mom totally opened the door INTO my ankle. Fucking lovely.

So I sat in the waiting room while Triage argued with Xray. I still had to take the damn pregnancy test, and was half tempted to have Dawson help me. He was such a good sport driving me to the ER, that I decided against it.

They sent us into a room and we were pretty loud and obnoxious. Country coerced Dawson into giving her a back massage (on the bed while I sat pitifully in a wheel chair.)

To make a long story short, I have a Stage III sprained ankle which means nothing other than I'm in a nifty splint and I get to have regular visits my hunky orthopedic surgeon who looks alot like an older version of Apache. As an added bonus, he's the former team surgeon to the New York Mets, so we get to talk baseball.

My extremely swollen ankle. Forgive the unpedicured toes. They had to wipe off my nail polish to check my ciruclation

Country. In my wheelchair. with the infamous boots. I want a pair.

So I've decided to take a different tact with this blog. It started off as being a ranting blog about how shitty it is is to be single again after so long.  At this point in my life, relationships are not my focus. I am totally crazy about Apache and there may be an entry on him and I from time, but he is in the 'Ghan. Other than a play by play of our back and forth email conversations, there isn't much I can say.

In some ways, I'm glad that he is in the 'Ghan because I'm not sure at this point in my life I can hold a functional adult relationship with someone who is physically here and wants my time. I know myself well enough to know that my relationship wouldn't suffer, it would be everything else, namely my health and grad school.

So I'm trying to make a life style change because I need to. My weight is creeping back on and that scares me. As of yesterday I weigh 215.4 lbs and I am supposed to be about 140. The time to make a change is NOW, and I need to stop letting everything else get in the way.

So these are my goals of the week. I have three and I think they are pretty doable:

* Alcohol-- let's see if I can make it through the night with only one diet coke and vodka rather than 3 or 4. I go to bars, usually, where I know the bartender. There's no reason why i can't ask her to put it in a rocks glass rather than a soda glass so Country, Dawson, and Cleavage (3 of my friends) have no clue I'm not drinking.

* Tracking- I haven't been tracking and I have a ton of half-started tracking notebooks that I misplace. I have a free subscription to WW Etools-- let's see if I can go a whole week with e-tracking.

* Activity-- I have a level III sprained ankle (torn ligaments) that has kept me off my feet since Feb 13. However, I can do other activities. I'm going to go to a local gym that has a pool and a circuit room. I can do any activities that do not involve ankle or tons of weigh bearing in the circuit room and swimming might be good for me.

Trust me, the blog will still retain the same flavor, just of a different variety.

Comments?

Surviving Singles Awareness Day

There is no other yearly holiday that I can think of that draws more attention to the fact that you are single than Valentine's Day. From the fact that all those "coupled up" become unreachable via text, fields of flowers delivered to seemingly everyone in your workplace, and the sudden appearance of red and pink heart cut outs, Valentine's Day is a day that is hard to miss.

While I'm not single this Valentine's Day, I will be alone since Apache is currently on his way to the 'Ghan and has not been able to contact me since leaving Wednesday night. Instead of wallowing in self-pity and selfishly wondering if he thought about sending me flowers on Valentine's Day, I'm going to go out with a friend, Country, who has recently broken things off with her long-term boyfriend. We decided on a day of pampering-- complete with tanning, manicures, though getting my hair "did" is reserved for Wednesday when I will be going back to blond-- since today was payday and I've been neglecting my pampering in the interest of saving money!

Since Monday is the official beginning to my week-long school vacation, I think we're going to go out line dancing to complete the night. I know that she was feeling kinda crummy since her ex suddenly has a Valentine's Day date (which he publicly announced via Facebook) so she might appreciate the company. In the week since the break up, she also has been bombared with offers, which flatters her, but I know she's not ready for a date. Spending quality time with friends seems like the perfect time!

So, all you single ladies (and gents) out there, what are you doing to fight back against Singles Appreciation Day?

Cam Studio

When possible, Apache and I talk via web cam. Both Yahoo Messenger and AOL Instant Messenger offer convenient platforms to chat. We have Skype too, but Apache prefers Yahoo for some reason.

Apache is currently on his way to Afghanistan after spending almost a week in Kyrgyzstan. I definitely got spoiled because we talked on video cam for almost 4 days straight. Since he will be going to a base that the US has only occupied for 2 months, he's not sure if there is going to be Internet or cell phone service (he has a Verizon WorldPhone that has worked thus far). I wanted to figure out a way to record our chats so I can play them when I miss him.

I discovered CamStudio, a free progam that is able to record all screen and audio activity on your computer and create industry-standard AVI video files:

Combined with Windows Movie Maker, I got to create the following video:

Not Saying Goodbye

Dear Apache,

It's been a month since you've been gone. A month since I fiercely kissed you goodbye outside the armory and tried to not let you see me cry because I didn't want to make you feel guilty. I was afraid of you finding out exactly how much you mean to me--afraid of putting my heart out there like that in case you would turn it down.

And now I'm afraid of you boarding that plane today and not knowing exactly how much you mean to me. I've alluded to it in multiple conversations, but I've never come right out and said it.

I love you, Apache

I'm not asking for you to say it back, yet or ever. I'm not asking for anything by saying it. I'm simply saying it because that is how I feel and I want you to know that wherever you go, whatever you do, I'm waiting for you at home, like I said I was going to.

I'm not the type of person that makes promises to make them. If I think I won't be able to handle something I say so. But I can handle this because in April I'll get to pick you up at the airport and in November I'll get to be there when you come home. There are going to be alot of trials along the way, I know, but if we can get through this, we can get through anything.

My cell phone is sitting next to me, and I know that somewhere in Louisiana you are packing your things, doing final checks to leave, and getting on the bus to go. I know you'll call me when you are on your way to the bus, and for the first time in our relationship, I don't want you to call me. I don't want that call to come that you are on your way to a place where you're not just a phone call or a drive away, where you are in danger, where you might not come home from. 'Cause that means that this thing we've been preparing ourselves for for the last three months is something tangible and real.

I'm not going to think like that, though you've brought that possibility up in that past few conversations we've had. I refuse to say good bye, because those words have a finality to them. Instead, I'm going to say I'll be seeing you.

I still imagine your touch

It's beautiful missing something that much

But sometimes love needs a fighting chance

So I'll wait my turn until it's our turn to dance

- "Come Home Soon"- SheDaisy