I did not send Jay* another MySpace mail apology about how I am sorry for what I said, and was not upset when he read it, but didn't write back. Not me!
I do not cry Sunday when I realized Trevor* (my ex of two and a half years with whom I broke up with in November) would be intensely proud that I can now ride Magic. I do not still consider Magic "our" horse, nor did I wish that I never broke up with him. Not me!
I did not spend $92 on sex toys nor $160 on makeup at Sephora when I promised myself i would start paying off my credit cards. Not me!
I would never call up Jake* after the sex toy night because I was horny enough to abandon my new morality laws. Not me!
I did not invite Jake over to watch Blood Diamond only to fall asleep on him 15 minutes after he got there, even though he had an hour drive. Not me!
I do not spend most of my day shamelessly surfing 20sb.net, or Myspace, or facebook while being paid to do marketing for my parents' company. Not me!
I do not prefer my cat Spooky to the other two. Not me!
I would not overdraft my checking account by $213.11 because I was too lazy Friday night to deposit my paycheck. Not me!
I would never, ever skip the gym because to watch Army Wives. Not me!
