Here's to you Miss. Robinson

Does age matter?

This is a question I've been contemplating in the days following my most recent "break up" (we weren't in an offical relationship, but nevertheless we are broken, much to my dismay) followed by an equally disatorous stint at dating my best friend (neither one of us is ready to try that). Encouraged by my drinking buddy Scumbag* (aptly named for his treatment of the cast of women he dates), I cast the proverbial line into the dating pool at http://www.plentyoffish.com/.

I met plenty of jerks who were more interested in the size of my breasts than my personality, or, in one rather memorable case, the size of my bank account. From all of these replies it became quite clear that they hadn't read the profile I spent several drunken hours creating.

Then a guy named Jake* emailed me asking me to explain my username (ArabianMagic--> I own an Arabian horse named Magic). From that conversation, he asked about the specifics of the equestrian sport I prefer (dressage). The emails quickly snowballed into sharing phone numbers. During our conversation, he said that he never expected me contact him, given his age.

Wait, what?

A closer glance revealed that he was older. much older. 41. While it's not as old as Strom Thurman or my father, it's definitley older than the guys I've dated in the past. My highest has only been 5 years older. 18 years older is definitley uncharted territory for me.

Society has long glorified relationships (often purely sexual) between younger men and older women: Mrs. Robinson & Benjamin, Demi & Ashton, Smith and Samantha from Sex and the City. Scumbag himself highly extolls the virtues of dating a "Cougar," though his particular breed of Cougar often include women wearing wedding bands and avoiding their husbands. Dr. Tina B. Tessina explains the column "What's Behind the Trend with Women Dating Younger Men?" that "Socially, there's a role reversal of sorts going on, women are more powerful now than ever before and may want men who are younger, and perhaps, more flexible; men who can handle it if the woman's career and lifestyle takes priority over their own. Media portrayals in "Sex and the City" (like movie characters Smith Jerrod and Samantha Jones) and "Desperate Housewives" are also showing women that dates don't have to be older. Women who have high-powered careers -- or a well-developed self-image -- are exercising more choice. Women who have been divorced and are established single moms may enjoy having a playmate, someone to have fun with; who doesn't try to control her."

A Google search of older men- younger women turned up images of Hugh Heffner and his playmates, and websites advising that such realtionships do not work. Still others declared the only possible reason that a younger woman and an older man would get together must be that she is looking for financial security, and he is looking for sex.

Does that always have to be the case?

In this instance, I'm mentally attracted to Jake* because he is mature, easy to converse with, and hasn't once asked me what color my nipples are unlike some of his younger counterparts on http://www.plentyoffish.com/. He has complimented my beauty without being oversexual, rather refreshing these days. I've dated men younger than me (my ex-fiance was 3 years my junior) and about my age and found them to be mentally about ten years younger than me. I'm a 23-year old with a BA, a career, and working on my Master's degree. Most guys my age have difficulty commiting to what color boxers they are wearing tomorrow let alone an actual career or Godforbid, a wife.

We're going out to a restaurant on Friday.

Wish me luck, dear Reader.

Food for comment: Have you dated anyone older than you? How did it turn out?




*name changed to protect the innocent