I hate being female sometimes. The slower-than-a-tortise metabolism, the lack of upper body strength, all of those things i can handle. However, the pregnancy paranoia sucks. After being pregnant last summer, I spend the days following my last Birth Control pill obsessively checking the bathroom and agonizing over whether or not I am pregnant.
I took my last pill late Friday night. Aunt Flo has yet to stop by for her monthly visit. I've taken three pregnancy tests, two last night in the Wal-Mart bathroom, on this morning-- all say "not pregnant," yet still good ol' Flo is no where to be found. I bought the good pregnancy tests, Clear Blue Easy... the ones that say "Not Pregnant" so I can't fuck them up. They were the ones that said I was pregnant when I really was.
Apache is not Jay. I know he wants kids. He knows that I am "late," and his response was that he hopes I'm not only because he wouldn't be around when the child was born. Plus, he knows that we can't exactly afford a baby right now. I don't want to have a baby right now. I don't want to rush my relationship with Apache, I don't want to jeopardize my job, I don't want to add another stress in my life; and I don't want to gain more weight. I want children when I'm ready, in another year or two, when I have my Master's, but not now.
So, maybe I should stop panicing. After all, stress just make it later, right? And I have stress in spades these days-- between Apache leaving and that whole personal day fiasco that is STILL unresolved-- even though I leave for grad school on Friday.
I just called my OB/Gyn because I need, need, need some closure on this so I can stop stressing. I have way too much to accomplish in the days before I leave for grad school, and stressing about being pregant, when I most likely am not, is not helping.
Am I crazy? Does any one else have panic attacks like this too?
***UPDATE***
The GYN just called. He doesn't want to see me. Says to just go ahead and start my next pack of birth control as normal because a) I had three negative pregnancy tests, and b) missing periods sometimes happens when you have been taking birth control for a long time, and c) stress is probably the leading cause it all this. So, I'm going to try to explain that to poor Apache, and pray that my GYN knows what he's talking about.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Oh man- I know what that's like. My second baby, Jackson, was very much an oops baby. I found out I was pregnant in August 08, (almost 2 months at that point) which was awful because I was on the verge of filing divorce papers. Matt and I are still together, Jackson is perfect and loves his sister, Olivia.
I would start your next pack of pills, wait a week or two and then take another test. :) Do you ever skip your period? Like instead of taking the placebo pills for a week just start a new pack so you never get your period? I used to do that and so it made my periods a little whacky.
No, I never "skip" my period. And i have the crampy feeling like I'm going to get it, and nothing. :-( But I do get VERY light periods naturally, so I'm hoping it's just that...
Right after Ryan left for his last deployment I was SUPER late, like WEEKS late. I took pregnancy tests, they all said no, I continued taking birth control as normal, and I got my period eventually. I was beyond stressed with work, and Ryan deploying and a bunch of other crap, and I'm positive that the stress delayed my normal time. Stress has crazy affects on your body. Just keep taking the birth control, but I totally know how you feel...it's not a fun feeling at all.
i had 2 scares. the first was HORRIBLE. after 6 days, i bought a pregnancy test and bawled my eyes out to my roommate while i waited. turns out the new pills i was on were the wrong dosage, and prevented my period from starting on time. 2nd scare wasn't nearly as bad and didn't last as long
ive got my fingers crossed for you in hopes that it's just stress related *hugs*
Oh noes! I will definitely keep my fingers crossed for you but I think it's probably stress related. After all, you said your periods were normally light. Give it a few days. *praying now*
Post a Comment