This weekend is going to be both joyful and heartbreaking. Each year, in the next town over, there is a large county fair. It is THE social event of the season. As a child, the Fair was the weekend before school began, and you would beg your parents to show off your newest and coolest school clothes. As a teen, the Fair was the time when couples would stroll together, announcing their relationships to the world. As an adult, the Fair was my time to go with Trevor. We would walk around the fair, sampling the foods, playing the games, riding the rides, and looking at all the home improvement vendors and dreaming. It will be the first time since I was 19 that I will be walking around the fair without him.
For me, it's a huge deal. The Fair was one of the happiest times we had together, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. To add insult to injury, Jay will be there-- the Boy Scout troop he is still involved in works as security throughout the day. I'm sure DogFace, knowing I will be there, won't be too far behind. I've already given explicit instructions that she not be allowed NEAR my horse.
For me, the Fair also is the biggest horse show of the season. It is a four day event, and EVERYONE is there. This is the first year that I will be showing my own horse under saddle. After a summer of hard work, it will be a triumph for me to ride him past the judges' booth in front of all the people who told me it was crazy that an intermediate rider own a young horse of his caliber.
Trevor and I raised Magic together. Though my name is only on his papers, Magic is as much Trevor's as mine. I know that no matter how he feels about me, he would be amazingly proud that Magic is here doing what we both dreamed about doing.
I'm toying with the idea of emailing Trevor with an invitation to come down and watch the show, no pressure. However, he is still with his girlfriend, and I'm sure the invitiation won't be welcome.
Thoughts?
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
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5 comments:
I just started reading your blog, so I don't know about your history. But I'd maybe skip the invite. You can e-mail him afterward and tell him how Magic did, but if you already don't think he'll even want the invite, I'd go with that instinct. Hope that helps!
Hmmm... sending him the invite now might make things worse. I would maybe tell his family (sneaky I know) and maybe they will tell him. That way it wasn't you who invited him, but he could still show up if he wants. Or maybe you should just now invite him. I like Nellyn's idea of telling him how magic did. Maybe even send him a video/picture of the show.
Good Luck!
I agree with your previous commenter, Twins. He needs his room and time to work things out...
BTW- you never told me J was involved with Scouts!!!
Jay is the "grand poohbah" of Scouts. He's still on the committee and all that. Makes you feel good that he's educating tomorrow's men, doesn't it
Boy advice: Do NOT invite him. He knows about the Fair. He knows you'll be there. Maybe he knows you're riding Magic too. Regardless, save any talking/texting for afterwards. You want to make it seem like a courtesy call: "Hey, I thought you'd like to know that Magic did soooo well at the Fair." Something to that effect. Talking to him beforehand reveals that you're not over him. Right now he just wants his space and needs to think he's in control of the situation. You guys had a great chemistry; he will come back but it will be when he is ready and you can't rush him.
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