So... I had to tell somebody since this info is highly classified.
I went out with Jay tonight.
Now before you throw rubber chickens, ham bones, and regurgitated baked beans at me, let me explain.
He is up in my area celebrating his Marine Corps birthday, and saw me pull into my driveway. He honked and I texted him to say hello. One thing led to another and we made plans to go play some pool while I waited for Doc to get home from Boston(he never showed...)
We played pool and drank, and started talking. Since this was the first time I've seen Jay away from DogFace some things became quite clear.
1. Things are not good in their relationship. Jay knows for certain that his days with DogFace are limited. She still is married and has no plans of divorcing her husband, though they are living apart. It was quite sad to hear him talking about how she comes home wearing her husband's Oakley's and smoking his cherry cigars.
2. Jay does feel remorse about the baby. We were talking about my trust issues with Doc, and he tipped my face up towards him, and apologized for everything. And he cried, something he does not do, ever. I'm not sure what let him let go now, but he cried. And by bringing it up, he gave me permission to say what I had been wanting to say to him for a while. That I wasn't mad about him not wanting the baby, but how he treated me both before and after the abortion.
3. Jay did care about me and still does. We talked about the end of us, which seems to be a lot of misunderstandings. He was upset because of how I seemed to be trying to worm my way into his life, when I thought I was doing what he asked of me... make friends. He admitted how strong his feelings for me were at the time, and how things might have been different if it hadn't ended so badly. We're just friends, but it seems obvious that more is possible some day.
4. He's attracted to me. still. that was quite obvious. He kept calling me baby and m'lady....
5. He admitted that we were dating and he was my ex-boyfriend, when he was so adamantly against those words while we were dating.
6. According to Jay, he and Dogface did not start sleeping together until July-- after my abortion.....not sure if I believe that or not.
I didn't cheat on Doc, nor did I want to. But it was nice to see Jay emotional for once. And all of this makes me very wistful for those 7 months last winter when I felt like I had it all....
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
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5 comments:
Stay as far away as possible from this douchebag. He's garbage. You mentioned in a previous post how he was able to mentally manipulate you- and he's doing it again. I always believe the truest emotions happen at the time. Sure, you may get up a week later and be sad about something, but the way you feel at the exact moment it happened is how you really feel.
And I'm in the group that says some ex's can be your friends and some you leave behind for a reason. You should leave this one really far behind and don't look back.
And...I don't believe in being in a relationship if you see it going nowhere. So if you say that Jay is a possibility in the future, you should stop seeing Doc because it isn't fair to him.
:( hang in there!
Its not that I would be with Jay in the future...it's just that is slightly pleasing to know that he still wants me. Think about it, if your ex told you how much he wanted you, wouldn't you be somewhat pleased because you know that you still have some power over him, especially if he's the one that left in the first place....
I agree with Sara in the sense that you need to stay far away from Jay. After everything he's done to you, you cannot trust him at all. I understand feeling happy knowing that your ex still wants you, anyone would be happy over that, but you cannot get past what he's done. Period. Based on what you've told us, I could never believe that Jay is the "one". Never! I say continue on with Doc. Give it some time. If in a month you still feel like he's not for you then end it. But not for Jay.
Yep, I agree with these ladies...
And how pleasing could it REALLY be to know that a complete and total TOOL still wants you?
It's like a gazelle being pleased that the hyena still finds it appetizing...
... maybe if he were a dude that could actually be considered by a majority of women as "a catch," but not some manipulative chode-wank.
Set the bar a little higher...
I was thinking bad things when I read the first sentence or two of this. But it turned out to be ok. I'm glad nothing happened but please take this as a warning:
don't get too comfortable with him now. See where this thing with Doc is going and don't even try a "friendship" with Jay. Trust me, nothing good will come of it
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