Tuesday, October 13, 2009

"I am 100% and then some done with Aurora, and am in an awesome relationship with my new girlfriend" - Trevor's email to his cousin the same night as Amber's emails to me.

I know that I said I would be strong and forget everything that is being said right now. I know that I shouldn't take what he's saying to heart because he's said he's been totally in love with other girls before (the one between the us dating), and obviously that didn't work out.

The sad thing is, I don't even know if I'm in denial. I don't know if I'm deluding myself. Shouldn't I have given up by now? Shouldn't I read all the evidence stacked against me, and just give up? Wave the white flag, admit that I fucked up, and lost him?

Am I crazy for holding on? Am I crazy for believing that since we've come back together before that it could happen again? Am I crazy for thinking that if he wasn't with someone else, I could convince him to forgive me, and show him exactly why he loved me?

Do I need a reality check here?
Posted by Aurora at 5:27 PM

2 comments:

Mr O said...

you're not crazy, you're in love. Which can easily be confused with each other sometimes.

Question: How did you come across this info? Is it legit?

Also, I would just like to point out that I liked the optimism in your last blog. About moving on, but not necessarily giving up. I meant to say it there, but I will say it here that I really like that outlook.

I am interested in what the future holds for you two

October 14, 2009 at 12:56 AM
Sara Strand said...

I agree, Mr. O. Crazy and love are the same thing. Give Trevor time. He's likely really hurt by what you did and needs time to grieve that. Nobody likes to get cheated on and it is really, really hard to earn trust back. Now, I am totally speaking from experience here- my hubby (technically) cheated on me, and I learned a lot of disturbing stuff about him in the span of 3 days. We had been married for 3 years at that point. We had one daughter, and I found out our son was on his way as well. Are we still together? Yes. Do I trust him? No. Will I ever? I don't know. Do I think about divorce everyday? Yes- but I also have two kids to think about. I think the most difficult thing about cheating/being cheated on is the fact that the person who cheated blatantly disregarded the relationship. Nothing can ever excuse that. I wouldn't have cared if my husband is held hostage- you just don't cheat. Period.

So give Trevor time. That's all you can do. I do think that in order for anyone to have real closure you need to arrange a meeting. Just you and him. You can tell him that in order for you to move on that you need get questions answered and just really want to turn a new page. And get everything out. Ask everything you have to knowing that if you never get another chance you will know what you need to know, and he will too. Neither of you are going to be capable of being in a serious relationship without the closure. And you both deserve it. :)

October 14, 2009 at 8:59 AM

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