In the days that have followed since I last met Trevor, I'm surprisingly okay. I've given up; I've let go, and allowed myself to find the beauty and the opportunity in the world around me. This might have taken two diet coke and rums, two margaritas, and a basket of freshly made tortilla chips to realize, but I've done it. In all honesty, I haven't shed a tear since Thursday night. &, as alarming as that is for me, I'm honestly okay.
One of the things that I've promised myself is that I will start opening myself up to possibilities, whatever that might mean; on Friday night, a figurative door opened up.
I used to waitress at a Mexican restaurant a few towns over. When I applied for the job, one of the owners, hereafter called Doc, spent the interview telling me how pretty I was. Over the next few months, Doc & I worked together and got to know each other. In addition to owning the bar portion of the restaurant, Doc is a psychiatrist with a MA from Northeastern and a Doctorate from Boston Graduate School of Psychoanalysis. He's 30. Honestly, we flirted back and forth, even though I was with Trevor, then Jay, and he was engaged to one of the other owner's daughters.
Their relationship was a rocky one, and as both our relationships soured, we sought each other to rant and cry. After their relationship ended (he was the one that did the ending), he started asking me out. I turned him down a few times; I didn't want to be the rebound girl. I also still felt like I was somehow cheating on Trevor. But, after letting him go, I felt different. He asked me out again on Friday night (prior to the margaritas), and I accepted.
I was glad I did. We went out last night to grab a drink. We were suppossed to have dinner, but he got stuck in some heavy traffic on the Pike out of Boston. Rush hour is never a good thing in this part of New England, with three major cities relatively close to one another (Worcester, Boston, & Providence). I had a great time. He's easy to talk to, funny, and incredibly smart. It's been a long time since I've been with someone who is my educational superior, or even my equal. I home by 10 since both he and I have to work early in the morning. He kissed me very sweetly when I got out of the car, and told me that he'd be talking to me soon. I got a text about an hour later when he got home, and then one this am at 10. During one of these text messages, he asked me what my favorite flower was. Interesting...
So, a question for my readers. Is the fact that I can't keep a text message conversation going indicative of something? We have long conversations when we're together, but relatively short ones when we text. I myself run out things to say on text, especially since I'm often doing something else while I'm texting. I also don't believe that text messaging is for long, intense conversations anyway.
Thoughts on or tips about this?
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
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8 comments:
i agree that conversations over text are difficult and should be restricted to quick comments. texting should imply that people are multitasking and minimally focused on talking. i firmly believe that if someone has a ton to say, he should take the time to call instead of typing it into 160 char messages :p
i think you answered your own question:
We have long conversations when we're together, but relatively short ones when we text. I myself run out things to say on text, especially since I'm often doing something else while I'm texting. I also don't believe that text messaging is for long, intense conversations anyway.
I think it's awesome that you are able to at least try something new and are not holding on to Trevor. I hope this plays out well for you
What sucks is that most of my friends, especially male, despise the phone call and prefer to text. So there I feel this intense pressure to keep a convo going via text. I'd just rather call or speak to someone on the phone. I think texts are cute for the "whatcha doing?" variety that pretty much lets the other know that you're missing them.
So glad to see that you are even considering another guy!
On the text front though, I think it depends on what type of person you are. My ex DD and I communicated almost solely through text when we weren't actually together but with my bf before him we almost never texted. I'd be honest with him. If he isn't into talking on the phone at all then maybe you guys need to meet in person more... or maybe he's just not right for you.
Let us know how it goes.
He's initiated phone conversations in the past so I don't think he's phone shy. Jay was just SO adamantly against talking on the phone that I am sorta trained to believed that calling someone means that you are bothering them.
I've been following your blog for a while now..it's great that you're putting yourself out there with someone new :)
I think the short text conversation is just his way to show that he is keeping in contact without being too much.
Rachael,
Thank you for following and commenting! Its scary because it's all so new (it's been a while since I've dated someone I know barely anything about), but exciting all the same time because he texts and calls when he says he will. It's nice to be able to count on that.
And I'm starting to agree with you. He'll text me little comments during the day about something funny some one said, what he's doing for lunch, and asking me how my day is going. It's kinda nice
I hate text. I know, I'm like one of the 1% of population that hates text and I do it in very rare occassions. I have to have virtually no cell coverage for me to resort to text. And I get annoyed when people text me because it's like, just fucking call me already. So no, I wouldn't put a lot of weight into the text situation.
And yay for you going out! Let's hope he doesn't turn out crazy. I'm getting the he-may-be-crazy-vibe just based on your interview. Like how professional is that?! But hopefully that was just a fluke or something. :)
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