he hates me.
he's never coming back.
I never knew emotional pain could physically hurt you
I feel like my heart just got ripped out of my chest.
I want to throw up.
I want to never wake up.
I want to forget he ever existed
I want to forget who I used to be
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About me
- Aurora
- My name is Aurora, and I'm a twenty-something year old English teacher. Once again, I find myself thrust into the turbulant world of dating after a three-year serious relationship. Early in my writing career, I discovered that my muse has an unhealthy phobia of newly minted notebooks and computer screens with a blinking cursor. I find it easiest to write on things that are meant to be thrown away: cocktail napkins, the backs of used envelopes, paper placemats, reciepts. Some people consider it eccentric, I see it as another way of going green.
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- Back on the wagon
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- It's really over
- Finally some contact
- Money has always been an issue with Trevor and I. ...
- "I am 100% and then some done with Aurora, and am ...
- Clearing my head
- Happy birthday to me.
- Trevor
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- Who you'd be today...
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- I'm grateful for every scar
- a dilemma
- A Thousand Words Thursday
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Blog Archive
-
▼
2009
(95)
-
▼
October
(17)
- Back on the wagon
- A cold, NCIS, and a jealous ex
- Do You Have a First Aid kit handy?
- I think I'm falling for you....
- It's really over
- Finally some contact
- Money has always been an issue with Trevor and I. ...
- "I am 100% and then some done with Aurora, and am ...
- Clearing my head
- Happy birthday to me.
- Trevor
- the letter
- Who you'd be today...
- Sex, Lies, & Obsessions
- I'm grateful for every scar
- a dilemma
- A Thousand Words Thursday
-
▼
October
(17)
Search this blog
Lorem ipsum dolor
Begin: August 16, 2009
End: May 13, 2012
1 out of 1,001 things accomplished
Key:
Not yet begun
In progress
Completed
Health & Beauty
1. Lose 75 lbs (goal: : Currently: lbs lost: )
2. Develop good brushing habits
3. Dye my hair totally blond
4. Dye my hair dark with pink streaks
5. Journal my food every day for one month x 3 (/3)
6. Cut down my soda intake to one can per day
7. Go a week without drinking any soda
8. Average 10,000 steps per week
9. Be able to do 25 military-style push ups
10. Rejoin key gym and go 4 x per week for one month x 3 ( 0/3)
11. Get an accountability partner on sparkpeople.com
12. Go for a walk every morning at 6 am for a month
13. Buy age-appropriate, school appropriate work clothes
14. Go an entire month without any alcoholic beverages
15. Spend a Sunday preparing healthy meals for the entire week & freeze in pts portions
Hobby
16. Make a teeshirt quilt of shirts from Assumption
17. Go to a Patriots Game at Gillette Stadium
18. Go to a Red Sox game at Fenway
19. Go to a Red Sox game at Palms Park
20. Take Pole Fitness 1 & 2
21. Finish a New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle without peeking
22. Frame my Bachelor’s Degree and hang it above my desk
23. Learn to Belly dance
24. Go camping at Devil’s Hopyard
25. Ride my bike at the Colt State Park trail
26. Learn how to shoot a gun
27. Create a postcard coffee table from all my favorite destinations
28. Walk to the other side of the dam (across the road)
29. Ride on a motorcycle
30. Take Mackie to the Dam and let her run
Technology
31.Buy a new Laptop
32. Get 100 followers on my blog
33. Post at least 5 times a week
34.Host a giveaway on my blog
35. Blog swap with someone
36. Purchase aKeurig -type coffee maker for my classroom
37. Create a Blast From the Past Saturday posting trend on my blog
38. Learn how to use Adobe Premiere
Random
39. Find lost items: claddagah earring, Tim & I scrapbook, caribbean topaz ring
40. Send a letter from Day 1 self to day 1001 self
41. Leave a friendly, anonymous post-it note in all the books I borrow
42. Shop at locally owned stores (Wonderland Books, Putnam Supermarket) and restaurants whenever possible, even if it is more money
43. Wake up at 5:30 am every weekday for 3 months
44. Visit Old Stubridge Village
45.Buy one thing off of GemsTV
46. Visit King Henry’s Fair
47. Attend Festival of Ale at Higgins
48. Bring my own grocery bags to the grocery store
49. Purchase Sunflowers at the Make a Wish farm in Griswold
50. Spend the day before school 2009 at the beach
Self-Esteem
51. Have Retro PinUp girl photos taken
52. Have lunch with a different group of teachers at least once a month
53. Go to the bar alone
54. Go to the movies alone
55. Go to dinner alone
56. Get a Mace permit
57. Purchase Kimber Pepper Spray
58. Walk around the Woodstock Fair alone
SexyTime
59. Have a g-spot orgasm
60. Develop a lingerie wardrobe
Magic
61. Successfully show Magic at the Woodstock Fair x 3 years
62. Canter Magic
63. Show Magic at AHANE or an A-rated show
Relationships
64. Have a healthy, long-term relationship
65. Go on date with nice guys even if the attraction is not immediately apparent
66. Become a less narcisstic friend to those that deserve it
67. Stop being “T.O.W.”—I deserve much better than that
68. Repair my relationship with TMV, in whatever form possible
69. Write T a letter a week in a notebook for a year then mail it to him or give it to him with his clothes/baseball cards
70. DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, log into THOSE myspace accounts for the duration of this project
Financial
71. Pay off my credit card debt
72. Have $400 per month automatically deposited into a savings account
73. Get my job at Weight Watchers back
74. Buy a house
75. Rent library books instead of buying whenever possible ( / )
76. Keep a check book register
Career
77. Become a full-time Language Arts teacher (7th or 8th)
78. Get into Grad School
79. Get my Master’s Degree
80. Finish my book Catholic Guilt
81. Submit manuscript to agent
82. Submit my grades on time! ( )
83. Put up curtains in my classroom
84. Refuse to teach “down” to my 7th grade LA class—teach them Johnny Tremain, the real version of Hamlet, etc.
85. Redesign and update my classroom web page weekly
86. Bring my mini-fridge to school and fill it with healthy lunch and snack options
Home Improvement
87. Move out of my apartment
88. Complete the basement room at my parents
89. Buy a queen matress
For Others
90. Run (not walk) Jog with Judy
91. Participate in Relay for Life
92. Participate in Ride for the Cure
93. Donate blood
94. Sincerely compliment one person every day (/1001)
95. Buy Joanne a Memorial stone to mark Rudy’s Grave
96. Bring flowers to my Nana & Papu’s stone & Matthew’s on all holidays
97. Leave a 100% tip
98. Pay for someone else at the toll booth
Challenges
99. Go a week without using any form of technology (cell phone, computer, tv)
100. Take pictures of each of my accomplishments whenever possible and upload to my blog
101.Complete this 101 things list
102.Sunbathe naked.
End: May 13, 2012
1 out of 1,001 things accomplished
Key:
Not yet begun
In progress
Health & Beauty
1. Lose 75 lbs (goal: : Currently: lbs lost: )
2. Develop good brushing habits
3. Dye my hair totally blond
4. Dye my hair dark with pink streaks
5. Journal my food every day for one month x 3 (/3)
6. Cut down my soda intake to one can per day
7. Go a week without drinking any soda
8. Average 10,000 steps per week
9. Be able to do 25 military-style push ups
10. Rejoin key gym and go 4 x per week for one month x 3 ( 0/3)
11. Get an accountability partner on sparkpeople.com
12. Go for a walk every morning at 6 am for a month
13. Buy age-appropriate, school appropriate work clothes
14. Go an entire month without any alcoholic beverages
15. Spend a Sunday preparing healthy meals for the entire week & freeze in pts portions
Hobby
16. Make a teeshirt quilt of shirts from Assumption
17. Go to a Patriots Game at Gillette Stadium
18. Go to a Red Sox game at Fenway
19. Go to a Red Sox game at Palms Park
20. Take Pole Fitness 1 & 2
21. Finish a New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle without peeking
22. Frame my Bachelor’s Degree and hang it above my desk
23. Learn to Belly dance
24. Go camping at Devil’s Hopyard
25. Ride my bike at the Colt State Park trail
26. Learn how to shoot a gun
27. Create a postcard coffee table from all my favorite destinations
28. Walk to the other side of the dam (across the road)
29. Ride on a motorcycle
30. Take Mackie to the Dam and let her run
Technology
31.
32. Get 100 followers on my blog
33. Post at least 5 times a week
34.
35. Blog swap with someone
36. Purchase a
37. Create a Blast From the Past Saturday posting trend on my blog
38. Learn how to use Adobe Premiere
Random
39. Find lost items: claddagah earring, Tim & I scrapbook, caribbean topaz ring
40. Send a letter from Day 1 self to day 1001 self
41. Leave a friendly, anonymous post-it note in all the books I borrow
42. Shop at locally owned stores (Wonderland Books, Putnam Supermarket) and restaurants whenever possible, even if it is more money
43. Wake up at 5:30 am every weekday for 3 months
44. Visit Old Stubridge Village
45.
46. Visit King Henry’s Fair
47. Attend Festival of Ale at Higgins
48. Bring my own grocery bags to the grocery store
49. Purchase Sunflowers at the Make a Wish farm in Griswold
50. Spend the day before school 2009 at the beach
Self-Esteem
51. Have Retro PinUp girl photos taken
52. Have lunch with a different group of teachers at least once a month
53. Go to the bar alone
54. Go to the movies alone
55. Go to dinner alone
56. Get a Mace permit
57. Purchase Kimber Pepper Spray
58. Walk around the Woodstock Fair alone
SexyTime
59. Have a g-spot orgasm
60. Develop a lingerie wardrobe
Magic
61. Successfully show Magic at the Woodstock Fair x 3 years
62. Canter Magic
63. Show Magic at AHANE or an A-rated show
Relationships
64. Have a healthy, long-term relationship
65. Go on date with nice guys even if the attraction is not immediately apparent
66. Become a less narcisstic friend to those that deserve it
67. Stop being “T.O.W.”—I deserve much better than that
68. Repair my relationship with TMV, in whatever form possible
69. Write T a letter a week in a notebook for a year then mail it to him or give it to him with his clothes/baseball cards
70. DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, log into THOSE myspace accounts for the duration of this project
Financial
71. Pay off my credit card debt
72. Have $400 per month automatically deposited into a savings account
73. Get my job at Weight Watchers back
74. Buy a house
75. Rent library books instead of buying whenever possible ( / )
76. Keep a check book register
Career
77. Become a full-time Language Arts teacher (7th or 8th)
78. Get into Grad School
79. Get my Master’s Degree
80. Finish my book Catholic Guilt
81. Submit manuscript to agent
82. Submit my grades on time! ( )
83. Put up curtains in my classroom
84. Refuse to teach “down” to my 7th grade LA class—teach them Johnny Tremain, the real version of Hamlet, etc.
85. Redesign and update my classroom web page weekly
86. Bring my mini-fridge to school and fill it with healthy lunch and snack options
Home Improvement
87. Move out of my apartment
88. Complete the basement room at my parents
89. Buy a queen matress
For Others
90. Run (not walk) Jog with Judy
91. Participate in Relay for Life
92. Participate in Ride for the Cure
93. Donate blood
94. Sincerely compliment one person every day (/1001)
95. Buy Joanne a Memorial stone to mark Rudy’s Grave
96. Bring flowers to my Nana & Papu’s stone & Matthew’s on all holidays
97. Leave a 100% tip
98. Pay for someone else at the toll booth
Challenges
99. Go a week without using any form of technology (cell phone, computer, tv)
100. Take pictures of each of my accomplishments whenever possible and upload to my blog
101.
102.
3 comments:
i know this may be the last thing you want to hear, but just in case I want to offer that I have been exactly where you are right now. It seems like the pain will never go away. But trust me, it will. I can't tell you how long (not to sound grim, but it took me close to a year). But really, one day I just woke up and I was... done. Hopefully the same will be said for you
Oh damn. Would you like us ladies to hunt him down and like throw...ketchup packets at him? I'd offer to beat him up but since I'll low on the bail funds..I have to do something that could be considered non-violent. :)
It sucks, no doubt- but you are going to be ok. You will because life will go on and one day you'll be up to joining in with everyone else. But you have the right, and should, grieve this as you would any other death. Take your time and just get it all out. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with it at all. I'm dying to know what happened between your last two posts but know that when you feel like a normal person you'll post again. Hugs!!!
I am so sorry Twinsie :( I think we need a girls night out soon.
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