Just when you think you've heard it all...

Written on a cocktail napkin from Someplace Special. That's actually the name of restaurant,by the way; I'm not being trite.

…I’m really trying to see things from your point of view, but I can’t get my head that far up my ass.

I’ve always known that I’m attracted to bad boys. There’s something about them—the swagger… the confidence… the independence…the sex appeal. Danger drips off of them like liquid pheremone causing my heart to pound and my panties to soak. Falling for a bad boy is always a bad idea, and I’ve been burned by them before. Each time I get burnt, I tell myself “Never, ever, again…”

They don’t start off as bad boys. They start off as charmers, that make you believe that you are incredibly lucky to be around them . And to top it off, the sex with them is usually AMAZING. The good, decent guys, who maybe aren’t so rough and ready in the bedroom, usually fall by the wayside as you (and your vagina) pursue the Stud Muffin.

I knew that Jay was a bad boy. He even told me that he was an asshole, and he had his own special brand of humor. Last night, however, trumped anything he has ever done before.

I receive a text from him, out of the blue, that says “I have a guy that I work with that wants to meet you.”

Now keep in mind I haven’t been part of this scene really since March. Texting back and forth I find that Jay showed him my picture and dude is interested in me. I immediately find this all very, very weird and uncomfortable. Last week, if you remember, he wanted nothing to do with me—even inciting me to write him yet another apology note. I tell him that I find this all very strange. His response:
“ Find your not interested then piss off last time i try to be nice.” NICE? Nice would have been flowers, a back massage, hell, a robins egg blue box from Tiffany’s. Nice is NOT trying to hook me up with some random guy I’ve never met when A) I’ve never asked him to hook me up with anyone and B) I’m still crazy for Jay.

So after this brief temper tantrum, I ask what WorkFriend looks like—Ergo, if I date him and flaunt it in his face, will he get jealous? Jay sends me his myspace link, but since I am on the road, I can’t check his Myspace. I tentatively agree to go out to the bar with them. Then I ask who else is going.

"Me and Dogface" OH. FUCK. NO.

I tell him that no, I’m just not going to be comfortable going on a double date with the two of them. I mean, how did he think that’s would EVER be okay. It’s hurtful enough to know he’s trying to set me up with someone else, and to top it off, he wants to flaunt DogFace? Trust me kids, she is nothing to flaunt. If you’re interested, I’ll send you pics of the two of them. He is well above her league.
Anyway, I say that I will meet him if there was a group of people there, sans DogFace:

Jay: I can't go out without Dogface so meet him then he is intrested and younger than u that is how u like them (he insists that I like my men young, ONLY because I happened to have dated Trevor, who is three-years younger than me.)

I question him on this: “because i like going out with her”

Uh huh. I'm not stupid. She doesn’t trust him (she shouldn’t cause I have it from a very reliable source that he’s sexing another girl) and she definitley DOESN’T trust me. And she shouldn’t. Given the chance, I’d fuck him silly and mail her a video of it.

Jay insists he’s trying to set me up with a nice guy, and keeps on insisting that DogFace is going to totally be okay with this. I’m sure she is. She gets to flaunt that she “won” him, and try to divert my attention to a new man.

At this point I’m drinking rather heavily and smoking too much pot many cigarettes, which I NEVER do. So I ask if I’m somewhat forgiven for what I said: “I am tring to hock u up with some 1 im not the lord”.

I call him an ass, and ask again: “lets work on that ok”


Question for my readers, especially the male ones. Why would he want to set me up with one of his friends? First of all, we live so far away from each other that we never see each other. Second of all, it wasn’t like we were friends before we started dating. And last Sunday, he pretty much never wanted to speak to me again. So why?

Possible answers suggested by friends:

* Guido, Ma-geek, & Redhead slut: he wants a three some
* Ma-geek, Redhead slut, & Twinsie : He wants you around as backup in case things with Dogface don't work out. He at least knows what you're up to.
* Grunge: It's some sort of loyalty game that she's playing with him. Y'kno, testing to see if he'd really be okay with you dating someone else.

This morning, for shits and giggles, I look up WorkFriend. He is not attractive to me. I have a specific type that I go for. Nerdy is not my type. Even if I was dumb enough to go on this double date, I wouldn’t go for anyone so dorkish. And I think that supports Redheadslut, et.al ‘s belief that he wants to keep me on the back burner. He knows full well that this guy is NOT going to be real competition. If he wants me back, he could have me. It’s better to set me up with someone like that then allowing me to meet someone else.

Actually, I have a much better idea. If he’s so hell bent on setting me up. I should just ask him to set me up with DogFace’s husband—that way, y’know, we’ll be even.