Realized something today, which is going to seem really basic, but it is important.
DogFace wasn't the other woman-- I was.
There, I said it, and it takes a ton of fortitude for me to admit to it.
She and Jay have worked together for about 2 years. They have been friends for just as long. She was the first friend he told about me (and vice versa), and I knew from the get go that they were close. What I'm trying to say is that the attraction -- sexual, compatibility, or whatever they share-- must have been brewing all along. Yet, she was married. So Jay met and started seeing me.... and then DogFace's husband left for the Army. They started spending more time together..and i'm not sure when and where it happened after that. I know Jay started pulling away from me during that time, so I'm not blaming him for cheating on me.... I'm sure he must really care about her for this to happen, and I want him to be happy. It explains why he got so defensive about their relationship every time I questioned it.But I have a confession, blog readers: I want her to leave him for her husband, since I know from talking to mutual friends that she doesn't really know what to do. I really believe that had she not been around, Jay and would have had a really good chance. And that is really horrible to say because I know he'll be fucked up if that happens.
It reminds me of the Biblical story (here comes my Catholic education) of two women approaching King Solomon, both claiming parentage of one child. In order to determine which woman is lying, Solomon orders the child cut in half. It is the true mother who begs Solomon to give the child to the other, for she truly cares about the child's well being.
Does this fable apply in my case? If I truly loved him, would I want him to go through pain (her leaving) in order for him to be me? Or is it natural for a woman to want the man she loves to be with her, and disregard whatever emotional loss he might feel?
What's the use in being right? I'm the lonely one tonight
2 comments:
This whole situation is just too messy! She's married and he's going to bring a world of hurt on himself for messing with a married woman.
You can do so much better, I promise you that. And you're not the other woman here, she is. She is taking something that not only isn't hers, but something she has NO BUSINESS getting involved in because she's legally bound to someone else.
I agree. But I've learned that very few people obey the constraints of marriage these days-- I actually see it all around me. And I'm very afraid of him getting hurt-- he just got offically divorced, and it took him a long time to get over his ex. And she has admitted she is so in love with both of them... i just have this feeling that she is going to back to her husband, because I know how strong the ties of a previous relationship are. His parents also have no idea about his relationship with her or our abortion-- I know that they would be none too pleased about either situation.
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