I was already gone....

I'm so excited by all the comments and emails I've recieved over the past few days wondering what happened with my date and where I've been. This is going to be a LONG entry because there is so much to talk about.

I was away for a few days at Mohegan Sun Casino in CT on a Summer Leadership conference for CEA (Connecticut Education Association, or the union I belong to as a teacher). We were put up in the very ritzy and expensive hotel casino (our rooms can be booked for $285 a night during the week), fed like crazy, and walked away with lots of free things (I have enough Mohegan Sun pens to last me until this time NEXT year.)

Highlights: losing my wallet and subsequently finding under a slot machine; discovering the bar in the casino that serves free drinks all night; and unlimited hot tub usage all weekend. And, oh yea, walking into the Wolf Den only to realize that the band Tinted Windows was playing, which features none other than Taylor Hanson. A fellow young teacher, Lily*, and I were instantly 14 again screaming our heads off. He may be on the "E-List" now, but their music was really good. Tinted Windows also features the guitarist from the Smashing Pumpkins, the bassist from Fountains of Wayne, and the drummer from Cheap Trick.

Mohegan Sun just happens to be near Jay's* house, and I had agreed to pick up a fellow teacher. My GPS led me straight by his house--a total mistake. Jay and I started having problems right around the time that his friend, DogFace**'s husband had just left for boot camp. I had known for a while that she thought he was attractive, and suspected she was launching an Anti-Pam campaign of her own. Jay started pushing me away. I even came to pick up something I left at his house, and Jay answered the door in his boxers-- DogFace's car parked in his apartment driveway. His explanation was that he had kidney stones, and she was a nurse-- true. We stopped talking for a while, and then started talking again-- and there were other signs that DogFace was more than just his friend. I repeatedly asked him about it-- and he kept denying it over and over again. Quote: "I ruined my own marriage, I'm not ruining anyone else's." Another quote, "DogFace isn't on the Pill-- if I was sleeping with her, she'd be pregnant." But he is extremely short with me, and has this convoluted idea of who I am that I'm not sure how he got-- I can only think that she has been bitching about me to him since I KNOW she doesn't like me. Turns out, DogFace's husband came home from boot camp, and discovered she was cheating on him (how or why, I don't know--Jay blames me because I said something to one of the other girlfriends about it-- but I've heard that DogFace* was going around work bragging to everyone that she was sleeping with Jay). To make a long story short, DogFace's car was at his house Monday morning--which means she's split up from her husband officially.

I texted him later that night to ask him to meet me for a drink (he hasn't told me or anyone they are together, so I'm playing stupid.) and he said that he would, but he was moving. His explanation as to why: he wants more space. I know-- thought he won't tell me which boggles my mind (why not tell me? The only thing I can think of is he wants to leave that avenue open to return to because he knows (or thinks he knows) that I would take him back, but wouldn't if I knew he was with her).

Here's the thing: part of me is happy that I wasn't crazy (like he told me I was for suspecting), but mostly I wish I was wrong about the two of them. If I was wrong that would mean he didn't leave me for her (she is decidedly manly, and wayyy less pretty than I am). It would mean that he wasn't so scumbag enough to sleep with his friend's wife! It would mean there could be a chance for me to get back with him. Him moving in with her is such a huge step-- I don't know how to explain it.

Anyway, I had my date with Jake* (the 41-year old) on Friday-- and it was a success. He took me to Sakura Tokyo in Worcester, MA, which is a hibachi Japanese restaurant. It was the perfect place to meet because there is so much going on with the dinner "show" to stimulate conversation. Also, there was a bachelorette party sitting at our hibachi grill, listening to them was interesting. Poor Jake was the only man at the table!

After dinner (he paid!) we went to the Boynton, a bar and grill in Worcester. We had a few drinks, and talked (he paid!). I found out he smokes cigarettes (kind of a negative-- I don't care, but my family is very anti-tobacco). We then went to Block 5, another bar, to round out our night (he paid!). He dropped me back off at my car, and we spent another two hours in the parking lot making out. He didn't push for anymore than that--which was wonderful. My biggest fear was that he was looking to add a "23-year old notch in his bed post". He has a great body (6'1'' and extremely muscular--he works out). He was sweet, and gentlemanly, even opening and shutting his car door as I got in and out.

I saw him again on Sunday night. He came down to my house-- we went to Pizzaria Uno (again he paid), and then went back to my house to watch Blood Diamond. He ended up giving me a full body light-touch massage, which is AMAZINGly sensual. I wanted him so bad by the end of it, because the massage is such a stimulating thing, but he was a true gentleman about it. We kissed ,but no more than that.

He calls every day, and we talk for a while. We've discussed how this whole age thing would work. I wish it was a non-issue, he doesn't seem any older than I, but he's concerned about how my family would see him (they don't care about his age), and how his daughters (he has two--12 and 17) would see our relationship.

In other news, Magic and I got a 5th out of 10 at the horse show-- for barely riding all summer, and for our first show together, I'm extremely happy.

Tonight: I'm off to Pole Fitness class in Worcester. Wish me luck!

Food for Comment: Have any of you been unable to shake off a toxic, but addictive relationship even though there was a potentially great guy/girl interested in you?

*: named changed to protect identities

** : name changed because she really does look like a dog-- and not a cute one either. One of the ones that has it's face pushed into the concrete too many times.