Warning: Detour ahead

Dating after a long-term relationship is like taking a car trip to a familiar destination, only to find that the familiar road that you usually take has been washed out. You have many alternate routes to choose from, but you're not sure where each is going to eventually lead, what the scenery is going to be, and what the speed limit of each is. So you sit in the car, staring at the Detour sign, wondering if you could try to brave the washed out road. Is it worth the risk of getting lost? Should you just go back home?

I've been sitting at that crossroads for a long time, staring longingly at the closed off road, hoping, praying, and dreaming that the barriers will be magically lifted. I miss Trevor so much sometimes, but I've got to come to terms with the fact that, at least for now, I've lost him. Even though his family says that he is adrift without me, Trevor himself has not acknowledged that.

I've been talking to WorkFriend via text and AIM for a few hours every day since we met. WorkFriend will hereafter be known as Mustang since WorkFriend is just so impersonal. He’s a pretty interesting guy—as much as I hate to say it, Jay might have actually been right when he commented that we were compatible. He reads, listens to much the same music I do, and is actually pretty funny—though I can tell that he has spent time with Jay since he uses some of the same phrases Jay coined. He is of much stronger moral stock than Jay, and I’m kinda starting to crush. I think he’s interested especially since he texts me from work and initiates the text.

So my question now to my followers and lurkers (especially men) is this—how do you go from the talking on the phone stage to the actual DATE? It’s been such a long time since I actually dated—Jay and I hung out through mutual friends. I don’t want to ask him since, according to several reputable online sources (y’know, e-how) , a woman asking a guy out usually leads to a booty call relationships. What does one do?

Any and all advice is most welcome and appreciated!