like trying to turn around on a one-way street

Back from an, ahem, stimulating weekend in Manchester with A-Lister and her roomies. A-Lister and I met last year at the Connecticut Writing Project's Summer Institute and have remained friends since.

Friday night, after getting lost numerous times, I finally made it to Amanda's condo. We went to karyoke at Butterfly's, a restaurant/bar in West Hartford. Amanda and I conned the KJ/DJ into allowing us to sing at the end of the night. I, per usual, put on my best Alannah Myles voice, and sang "Black Velvet." At the bar, I met this chap dressed in jeans, a button down, and a sports coat, with Dirty Saucony's.

Note: if you're going to rock the casual-preppy look that I noticed so many guys in Hartford doing, make sure your shoes do not ruin the effect.


He bought me a drink, even though I had a full one already. Inspired by A-Lister introducing her self as "Sandra" (pronounced SAHndra), I wove a little yarn of my own with plenty of details to make it believable. I told him I had a twin brother, who continually gives me shit because he is 14 minutes older. His name, I said, was Patrick Murray and mine was Pamela Marie--> this part has roots in truth; Patrick is a friend of mine, and when Dirty Saucony noticed me texting him, I was inspired to lie.


After Karyoke, Mr. Dirty Saucony, A-Lister, and I traveled to Gold Rock Diner in West Hartford, which apparently is the late-night hot spot. I had chocolate chip pancakes. Mr. Dirty Saucony paid for our meals, and we left. He didn't ask for a good night kiss, and I didn't give him. He seemed content just to spend time in the presence of two lovely ladies. I found out in the car that A-Lister actually believed my tale of a twin.


Spent most of Saturday on a road trip to Woonsocket, RI with A-Lister to pick up some necessary supplies for that evening's party.


A-Lister is a teacher by day, Athena's goddess by night, and her roommate C hosted a party. C had all of the attendees bring a decorated banana or cucumber. There were prizes involved, and my banana won "Best Dressed!"




"Jose Tequila" featured a sombrero, mustache, and rocked a matching blue maragarita glass until he got too drunk to sit up straight, and fell over.

The demonstration was hysterical. C and A-Lister had "hired" one of their friends, Coop, to be the bartender and love slave for the evening. Lucky him, he also got to help demonstrate the products:

I also participated in a "blow job" race, much like a pie eating contest, in which you searched through a pile of whipped cream to find a piece of double bubble. The first to blow a bubble won.

Due to some defaulty gum (ahem, A-Lister), I walked away with a few condoms and a sample of Coochy cream, which is "a rash-free shave creme that’s gentle enough for the most sensitive areas of your body! It can prevent those unsightly red bumps! Also highly recommended as a hair conditioner. Great on natural curls! Essential for the summer!"

I also ordered Pure Instinct, which is a scentless cologne for both guys and girls that makes the scent of your pheremones stand out. The stuff is not a gimmick-- it seriously does work. A few months ago when I was seeing Jay, I put the stuff on right before I went over to his house. I walked into a dark apartment to find him shaking in bed-- he had drank too many red bull and vodkas the night before (plus a ton of beer). He just wanted to hold me, and I seriously contemplated calling an ambulance because I thought he was going to go into shock. Within 10 minutes, he was raring to have sex, and after we finished, I lay there trying to figure out what had turned him on like that. The answer: I had put Pure Instinct at the nape of my neck, and he had been laying there with his face in my hair smelling it. Crazy.

I also ordered a "Lil' Darlin," which I won't post a picture of. It's a dual-action vibrator that was way more reasonably priced than the Golden Jack Rabbit, which did everything, except smoke a cigarette after you were done with it.

Went out bar hopping in Hartford with C and her friends. All in all had a great weekend, and met some great new people!